Ego and Sustaining Injury in the Garden and the Gym: A Personal Reflection (Stuart Robbins)
Ego can be a formidable barrier to maintaining physical health, particularly in environments like the garden and the gym. I’ve learned this lesson the hard way, and my experience underscores the importance of keeping ego in check to avoid injuries and maintain a pain-free body.
A Painful Lesson in the Garden
A few years ago, I decided to remove an old tree stump from my garden. Impatient and determined to get the job done quickly, I ignored my more logical inner voice telling me to dig a deeper hole or use a car and chain to pull it out. Instead, I relied solely on brute strength, convinced that I could handle it myself. I strained and tugged with all my might, feeling a sharp pain shoot through my lower back.
As an Osteopath I suspected in that moment that I had sustained a mild lumbar disc injury. “How could I be so bloody stupid, I knew better than that”. The pain was intense and simple tasks like bending or lifting became excruciating. This injury was a direct result of my impatience and refusal to acknowledge my physical limits. If I had taken the time to use the right tools and methods, I could have avoided this debilitating injury.
Exacerbating the Injury in the Gym
After the injury, I dedicated myself to recovery. I spent months doing Pilates and other exercises specifically designed to strengthen my core and support my back. Gradually, I regained my mobility and the pain subsided. Feeling stronger and more confident, I believed I had fully recovered.
Despite the significant improvement, my ego didn’t take a break. Determined not to fall behind in my gym routine, I decided to push myself even harder. On one particularly ego-driven day doing a power lifting session, I loaded the barbell with 180kg, determined to outdo my fellow gym-goers. Ignoring the lingering pain in my lower back, I went for the full squat that is “Ass to Grass”.
As I descended with the weight, I felt an agonising surge of pain in my lumbar region. The previous injury flared up with a vengeance, and I could barely stand up, let alone complete the lift. This reckless decision not only exacerbated my existing injury but also sidelined me from physical activities for months. “I should have known better, I would never have advised someone else to do something like that!” My overestimation of my recovery and failure to respect my body’s limits led to this setback.
Managing the Injury and a Recent Setback
As a result of this initial injury and making it worse in the gym, I’ve spent the many years managing my back pain quite well for the most part. I’ve used regular Osteopathic treatment, done Pilates and other exercises. I even took up dancing which is truly amazing for balance, core control amongst other benefits. At one stage, I decided that running was no longer a good option for me which is a shame as I really enjoyed. The whole time I have been aware that at any moment I could do something that could further exacerbate my condition.
About three months ago, it seems that moment happened. I was rollerblading with my children when, for some silly reason, I thought it would be fun to emulate some of the kids dancing on their skates. I proceeded to pick one of my legs up in the air, and before I knew it, I was lying on my back looking at the sky, experiencing a sudden jolt throughout my back. Having had a number of back flare-ups over the past seven years, I thought to myself, “That’s going to hurt for a few weeks,” and it sure did, I shook myself off and took it easier for the rest of the session. However, a few weeks of pain soon grew into a month, and then two, and then three. My pain didn’t improve much, and my left foot and leg started to feel numb, I couldn’t sit especially in the car, and on some level its affecting my balance, and much loved dancing. Clearly, my disc injury had progressed.
I decided it was time to get an MRI to see how bad I had made it. It quickly became clear that I might need surgery to get better, so I consulted with a surgeon who promptly agreed. With my ego quite bruised to match my body, I’ve come to terms with it and have booked surgery for June. I have been quite stubborn trying to manage this myself for so long.
The Struggles of Chronic Pain
Living with chronic pain, especially low back pain, can have profound effects on a person’s life. It can severely limit participation in family activities, making it difficult to enjoy outings, play with children, or even complete simple household tasks. This restriction can lead to feelings of frustration and helplessness.
The impact on mood is significant. Chronic pain often leads to irritability, depression, and anxiety, which can strain personal relationships. Loved ones may struggle to understand the constant discomfort and limitations, leading to feelings of isolation and misunderstanding. Maintaining a positive outlook becomes challenging when pain is a constant companion, affecting not only the individual but also those around them.
The physical limitations imposed by chronic pain can also affect self-esteem and confidence. Activities once enjoyed, like running or dancing, become sources of fear and anxiety. The constant need to be cautious to avoid exacerbating the pain can be mentally exhausting, creating a cycle of fear and avoidance.
The Importance of Keeping Ego in Check
These experiences have taught me the critical importance of managing ego. In the garden, had I been more patient and mindful, I would have used the right tools and techniques, preventing the initial injury. In the gym, respecting my body’s signals and focusing on proper form rather than competing with others could have prevented the exacerbation of my injury.
Maintaining an easeful body, free from chronic pain, requires a humble and balanced approach to physical activities. In both gardening and exercising, it’s crucial to set realistic goals, gradually increase intensity, and listen to one’s body. Consulting with professionals, using proper techniques, and incorporating rest are essential strategies.
Whether in the garden or the gym, managing ego is crucial to avoid injury and maintain a healthy, pain-free body. Embracing humility, practicing mindfulness, and respecting one’s physical limits are key strategies for achieving this balance. By doing so, individuals can continue to engage in their favourite activities, reaping the physical and mental health benefits they offer, without the detrimental consequences of ego-driven overexertion.
A good friend of mine who recently had a hip replacement talked about his pain before his surgery, he described it as a gradual slow process that snuck up on him, he used the analogy that he felt like a frog in a pot cooking so slowly that he didn’t realise it was happening to him. He said that after his surgery he was surprised how bad he had let things get and that he is feeling great. This resonated with me and really makes me think that perhaps I have been particularly stubborn and possibly giving to much value to being stoic?
I am trying to be optimistic that I will have a good surgery and recovery. I know that in my time off I will deeply miss helping people with Osteopathy, I will very much miss dancing, but hopefully, I will be able to return to both a bit later in the year, possibly better than ever, and more than anything during my rehab I am hoping to keep my ego in check!
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